Hello Everyone!
Its time that I did this post as the 1 year anniversary of TOF (August 1st) is almost here. I know that many know of my past, of what I have done and how I believe I have grown since then. Its not easy to talk about this because its something that I am not proud of. It was a mistake, a misunderstanding and I should not have done what I did.
Many of you know me as Jemstarlight Enchantment, but previously I was Izabelivanovic Resident or Bella Drakon Ivanovic. I owned the brand, La Bella Boutique and then came and closed Charmed as well as Luxe Enchantmed under another account. Now that I know that changing my name, changing avatars, changing anything, people will still see me as the same person that did that error 2 years ago.
I am not ashamed to say that for me to learn to do mesh, I needed help of some people and I did take classes with some creators. Some were even kind with me by teaching me to rig. I can never repay those people that have taught me what they did. It was really kind of them to do so. I also did take some meshing/creating classes through Udemy. I know they are not made for SL, but they help a lot for creations.
Once, I believed (and still do) that we should teach people how to become bloggers and creators for no charge. I did start a discord server for that. I did have some videos up on my channel to help with things that I picked up from these teachers, Udemy and Youtube, but I have had some creators (which I won't name) come to me state that I cannot be doing what I am doing. I can completely understand them, they went through a lot, to get where they have gotten and for me to come and teach people for free something it took them a long time to learn is unfair.
One creator, came to me, we had a discord voice chat, she was even kind, as she explained to me. When I was trying to learn, when I was making my mistakes, when I was getting called out for those mistakes, no one came to listen to my side of the story. Everyone just thought, hey she is a copybot and a thief and that is fine. She continued to ask me, and to ponder, think, WHY am I teaching something for free to people that before was crucifying me for my mistakes? She was right. She is right.
Recently, a lot of things changed in my SLife. I lost a whole team. A team that I was so happy to have. To me they were more than a team, but friends. This happened over a client job that we were doing together, and how I had omitted information that I should not have omitted. Again, it was my mistake. I should have been more transparent with them and I was not.
You might be asking, why am I saying all of this, why am I mentioning all of this? For Clout? for compassion and understanding? For forgiveness? No! None of those things. I believe that I have changed, grown and learned from my past and present mistakes. I have gone to therapy virtually while in lockdown, and I needed to face my monsters that live inside of me. I do suffer from anxiety. I am always trying to prove myself as someone that does my mesh, and yes sometimes I get the help of a mesher to create my custom mesh. What I have learned is that I don't need other's people approval to feel good about myself. The only approval that I need is to make peace with myself.
So from this moment on, I am not teaching anyone anything anymore for free. Nor am I going to take on students for mesh classes. I will teach other aspects of meshing that might have to do with SL, but it will also have to do with becoming a published artist for DAZ3D and maybe I will get into creating for other platforms.
I am and will be very busy separating TOF from LDB, which will be my kids brand. To the events that I have stayed with, I thank you so much for your support. Hera will be coming back in August 24, 2021 and we will be accepting designers from all walks of life.
The lockdown in Portugal has been lifted, I will also be going back to school in Lisbon to keep going with my game art degree that was postponed because of the whole lockdown. My time in SL will be limited, but will be used as much as I can to concentrate on what I need to get done.
As far as comments, reactions, hate, or however you want to "read between the lines" about this post and make your conclusions, that is fine. I am human. You are human. I don't live on past mistakes, I learned that from my therapist and seeing motivational videos on youtube. I live in the NOW. The past is THEN.
In closing, I want to thank everyone that supports TOF, will support LDB, and HERA. My team and I are here to take care of you and grow in SL. I will not get into anymore discord with anyone. I will not be responding to gossip or "teas." I will not be responding to anything negative from this moment on. Especially from toxic gossip websites that so many of you love.
I will be in my corner quietly doing my own thing. I will be doing something that I should have done since the beginning of all of the things that happened...that is...FODA-SE!
The video is in Portuguese, but you can translate it using this method...
The video explains in perfect detail of how I am today. You all have a wonderful day.
Hugs,
Jem
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